When Robbie asked me to do an article, he told me of the other rose experts that would do articles. The first thought that crossed my mind was, "What could I possibly add to what these other experts had to say?" After some thought I decided to write on something practical, thus this article.

During more than thirty years as a rosarian and exhibitor, I've noticed there are many couples involved in the rose hobby. I put them into three classes: The avid rosarian with a non-participating spouse, the avid rosarian with a tolerant partially-participating spouse and the couple that does it all together.

The saddest is the avid rosarian whose spouse is "non participating". This poor soul has this passion for roses that may be a source of irritation to the spouse. This is a real shame as the hobby could be a source of great enjoyment for both. He or she tends the garden alone, attends meetings alone and may never really achieve the total fulfillment that roses can bring. To the non-participating spouse my advice is - try it, you may like it. You are missing the opportunity to share many happy moments together with your spouse. It's better than being a rose "widow".

The avid rosarian with a "tolerant partially-participating" spouse is in a better position. The spouse often follows an adjoining path in the rose hobby. Maybe it will be arranging or photography or collecting Old Garden Roses. But they will travel the rose trails together, sharing the friendships and good times. This also allows the avid rosarian to enjoy the hobby more as his/her life partner is sharing the hobby if not passion.

The ones with the "best of all worlds" are the couples that do it all together. This should be Heaven on Earth but has its pitfalls. This was my husband, Tom, and I. The hobby started out as mine alone with 50 roses. I joined the rose society and Tom babysat; I went to a rose show and Tom babysat. Then I won a trophy at my second show and Tom decided the challenge sounded interesting. He helped with the digging and I encouraged him, thinking how great it would be if he became interested.

As his interest grew he decided we needed more roses and dug up the whole back yard and put in 350 roses all in one shot! That's when the trouble started!!! We got along well, never argued about money or the four kids we were raising but we hotly disagree about growing roses. We argued about which roses to grow, what to feed them, how to prune them and on and on. I seriously considered taking a separate membership in ARS so I could read MY magazine first. Tom read everything on roses he could and became an "expert". He became an organic gardener! He made compost heaps, dug out most of the soil and replaced it with compost. I pleaded with him to leave a little soil, but he just kept digging.

Things went from bad to worse. I would go out to spray and he would cry "You are killing my worms!" After a few years of this (somehow the roses survived our opposing views) we came up with a solution. First we would combine his organics and my chemical fertilizers and sprays. Tom would do all the chores from the soil down, the planting, feeding, watering and soil maintenance. I would do everything from the soil up, the pruning, spraying and disbudding. Somehow, I got the job of weeding, his reasoning on this was that at 5'2" I was closer to the ground! . If we were ordering 50 roses, I ordered 25 and he ordered 25. This worked well and allowed each of us to become more expert at our respective jobs and it truly became "OUR" garden.

Exhibiting brought new problems with some disagreement on which varieties to grow and which to cut for show. Cutting for show was my job but he would be looking over my shoulder "cut tighter, cut them longer, take that one etc, etc, etc." I tried to ignore him but he was driving me crazy. We finally solved these problems as well. Since I became a judge first, I got to choose the roses we cut for show. He became an expert at staging the collections at the shows. We became quite a team.

At one of our early shows, we were both tense and a bit short with each other (to put it mildly). But I can't describe the thrill we shared that day as we won our first Queen. Somehow our marriage survived the 30 years exhibiting in shows all over the country. Maybe it was the fun we had talking about past glories and disasters. Our four kids grew up with the roses as siblings and now they are growing their own roses with the help of their kids.

To have a full-fledged partner in this wonderful hobby had so many advantages. I didn't have the strength to do some of the chores nor the skills to solve some problems. Tom never complained about digging a new bed or building a rose box. He built bloom protectors and even installed a florist refrigerator in the garage. Together we set out to conquer the rose world and did well- two avid rosarians together! But the garden continued to grow. After visiting England and seeing roses in every front yard, he dug up our lawn and planted 50 floribundas for everyone to enjoy.

Tom went to the great rose garden in the sky five years ago. But there are wonderful memories of the cities we visited and the great people we met to sustain me. I feel sorry for those couples who have lost touch with each other. Once the kids are grown and gone --he may go his way - she goes her way and maybe they meet for dinner. Rose couples are different, there are always rose things to talk about and do. Couples that exhibit together face new challenges each spring and fall. They console each other when there are disappointments (like a hailstorm just before a show) but the best part is sharing the success of your joint efforts.

After 40 years of marriage, we still took moonlit walks in the garden (to see if we missed a rose for the show). We often spent sunny afternoons together (disbudding the roses). Of course, there were the long car rides at dawn (on the way to a show) and many great friends we made across the country. With every rose that blooms, these memories come back to warm my heart.

I am still tending the 450 bushes and chasing rainbows filled with roses but now I do it alone. However, that is another article!